Today a friend challenged me to do something that scares me.
It requires me to be fully bare (well…not FULLY bare, but you know…) and vulnerable. It requires me to believe in myself.
It requires me to learn to love myself (mostly MY BODY)…where I’m at. This hasn’t always been something that I’ve done with ease.
Back in July of 2013 when the girls were mere months old, I started working out in my living room more days than not (haha…generally 5x/week, but not always) and I was challenged to post “sweaty selfies” in my very first online accountability group. I was super uncomfortable -borderline not gonna do it.
It was just my face. But at that point in my life, I hated having my picture taken. I was embarrassed. I would cheese ridiculously (though…I’m still totally guilty of this. Haha) because if you are intentionally looking goofy, then it is okay (even ideal) if you look goofy versus feeling like I had to look “pretty” or be perfectly poised or posed, to have the perfect smile, etc. I was rarely in pics with my kids. I was rarely in pictures at all. That sucks.
But when I’m “in,” I’m ALL IN. So…of course, I took the challenge and I posted the “sweaty selfies” in the group. And you know what!?
There it was.
The face that I’ve had my whole life, but that even at (then) 31-years-old was almost scared to see…there it was…staring back at me…every.single.day. And low and behold…I got used to it! Ha!
Imagine that. I actually began to be able to see ME not just the scar in my eyebrow, the mole on my lip, the lateral tooth that is a little too short and a little too far back, not just the way my upper lip wrinkles or how my nose widens when I smile. Just ME. Ha. Pretty dang tricky.
From there, it transitioned out of “sweaty selfies” and into pictures of ME with my kids, my husband and even on occasion, just me standing there all by myself.
So now the challenge deepens.
Challenge: Take a “right now” BODY selfie every week for a year AND SHARE THEM! It has been a weird couple of months and I’m not going to lie, my body and my strength is not at all where I want it to be…but…does that make me less of a person? Nope. Sure doesn’t. It does make me feel less strong…uhm…because I am less strong. Haha. But that will be sorted out. I have really come a loooong way from where I used to be with body image, but I do still struggle. I see my “nose” for a belly button, loose/discolored skin from my pregnancies, my calves that are sorta “cankle-y”. My thighs that have always been a trouble spot, my cellulite on my bum… I could pick myself apart all day long. Isn’t that what society has taught us women to do? Isn’t that what our mothers, grandmothers, sisters, cousins, and friends have (perhaps unintentionally) taught us to do?
Uhm…let’s change that. So, just like I did with my face, I’m going to do it with my body. I’m going to see my body every.single.day. I’m going to get used to it and then I’m going to love the heck out of my entire self. I believe that I will get there. And you guys are going to hold me accountable to it and I hope some of you will do it with me.
So here is today. Just me. A super professional bathroom mirror selfie with the toilet and our bath towels in the background. Belly button nose and bloated-too-many-goodies “abs” and all. And I’m going to start loving myself a little more…RIGHT.NOW. Get ready for the outside to change as well as I work through fitness programs and get myself back on track with my strength goals too.
Wanna jump on the train? Love ourselves more. Teach our children to love themselves. It isn’t about how much we weigh. It is about how we FEEL in our skin.
Accountability group starts January 4th. Change your mind. Change your body. Love yourself.